Exit from Ego-Land

If you have noticed that you’ve been spending a little more time than usual in Ego-Land lately and that you are not necessarily your favourite version of you when there, here are 5 Simple Strategies that we use, to step out of ego and gracefully connect with our better selves.

If Ego-Land is an entirely new concept for you, you may want to check out this post on the 6 Wolves of the Ego first.

1.       Accept your Ego

Good news: You have an ego, that cares and loves you (a little too much sometimes). An ego that wants to keep you safe. The challenge is, it’s definition of safe, is sometimes a little messed up.

Bad news: You cannot disconnect, dismember, or disappear this ego of yours. Whether you want to be kept safe or not, it is yours for life (what a bargain!).

A better strategy here would be to accept that we each carry the same 6 ego wolves within us and that you, based on your specific upbringing and life experience, will naturally have a preference towards 1 (or many) of the wolves.

Here’s what not to do: judge yourself every time you feel your ego come up (‘damn I failed again, I just felt the need to justify my actions’, ‘Oh no I am gong into ego - I am self-centered’ ).

Here’s also what not to do: make it mean something about you (‘I am selfish’, ‘I am a bad person’).

Accepting that we ALL have a tendency towards venturing into ego-land is a fundamental step in helping you spend less time there.

Pro-Tip: Getting clear on which wolves spend more time howling at your window, gives you awareness of what to look out for… and with awareness comes power.

For more on how to identify when someone is in ego, click here.

2.       Remember you are ResponseABLE

Recognise that between ego offense and your next action there is a moment of pause. In this split second you have the power to stop your unresourceful behaviour, as well as the power to initiate the kind of response worthy of the person you are aspiring to be.

In other words, you are RESPONSE – ABLE.

Just because you are feeling offended, or confronted, or scared, doesn’t mean you need to reduce your behaviour to match that smallness.

If this is challenging, reconnect to Step 1. If we accepted our ego will do its thing, then we can take the whims of our ego with a pinch of salt, which frees us from shame and ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts)

3.       Focus on Purpose

A great tip, when you really feel that ego rising is to reconnect with what you are here to do.

The other day, I was in a training on Facilitating Group Transformation, and after one of the segments, I felt the “Need to Be Right” Wolf, rear its head. Emotionally the desire to play into the frustration was pretty strong. In the same breath, I also knew that feeding it would derail me for the remaining segment.

I acknowledged the emotions at play in my body and then asked myself these questions:

• What is the purpose of me being here? To learn

• For what purpose? To grow into the best facilitator (& human), I can be

• For what purpose? To share the knowledge and wisdom I have acquired through almost 15 years of education and experience with people who never has the luxury of being trained on the mind, our wellbeing, or the pathway to self-acceptance.

That reframing helped me to move through the emotion swiftly. I chose to see it as an opportunity to truly test my professionalism, by challenging myself to ascend beyond my ego, to serve my audience.

When in doubt, check in with yourself, what is the purpose of my doing this/being here?

4.       Connect with Love

Sometimes just connecting with a loving person can draw us out of ego defense and back into our body. Other times, it can infuriate our ego further.

This step is about connecting with the intention of unconditional love – rather than a loved one.

It might help to realise that when we are in ego, we are usually driven not by love, but by our need to feel safe and to know we matter or are important.

If we were to view another’s ego transgressions in this way, what changes to our level of compassion?

If you felt something in you shift, even slightly, and want to go deeper this element on top.

Look at the transgressor, the person or situation, who you are feeling your ego spark up in relation to and if possible, visualise them as a small child. Imagine them as a child just trying to meet their own core needs of feeling safe and knowing they matter.

What you swiftly realise is that they too are just responding to their own ego and that it’s not actually about you, at all.

5.       Daily Rituals

If you want to aspire to lower ego-land visits and spend more time in the realm of the higher-self, you may want to create a ritual to encourage this. Here are some that work for us:

• Starting or ending your day with Meditation. For quietening the ego, we suggest trying an acceptance meditation.

• Setting an intention for each day [aim for 3 intentions]. An intention is not about what you will do but who you aim to show up as. It is more about your being. i.e. Be honest; Be present when with my partner; Be open and curious.

• Ending your day with a simple act of gratitude and acceptance. Check in with yourself. What are you truly grateful for right now in this moment? On some days it’s comfy slippers and a warm bed; on others perhaps it’s the amazing community around you or the opportunity to stretch and grow! Follow this with asking yourself, ‘what are you forgiving yourself for today?’. Perhaps it’s not saying yes when offered that chance, not showing up with kindness to yourself or others, or sleeping through your alarm! These are things you acknowledge you are not wanting to replicate and hold no judgement over.

Pro-Tip: There are countless holistic modalities like energy healing, transcendental meditation, yoga, pranayama breathing (and so many more) that can assist us to quieten the noise of our ego and open the portal to our higher self.

Want to Learn More about YOU?

If you would like to learn more about your specific ego response, we invite you to book in your complimentary Ego Discovery Session, where we explore your challenges through the lens of your ego-response. You will walk away with an entirely new perspective and fresh insights on why you do what you do, and what might work better.

If you would like more free resources like this blog, we invite you to connect with the Eunoia Mindset Campfire.